Back
to School
This
is the time of year when attention turns to going
back to school. In sports terminology, back to
school means back to the basics. When a coach
sees the team consistently struggling, he or she
knows it time to go back to basics. Basics, from
a human development standpoint, means recognizing
what's getting in the way of moving forward and
addressing that fundamental.
Usually
what gets in the way is the story. Everyone has
his or her story. I just played golf with a gentleman
in his early 70's. He could really put a lick
on the ball and put it in place for his next shot.
But when he missed, out came the story and it
changed his game for the rest of the round. "I'm
not keeping my head down . . . Those kids who
played through are aggravating me and I can't
concentrate . . . The pro gave me that tip and
it's not working . . . blah, blah, blah." It would
be easy to say he's just not taking responsibility
and leave it at that but that would not provide
a remedy.
The
story is something we learned at an early age
that absolves us from any responsibility. "Mommy,
I tried to make it to the bathroom," is a perfect
illustration. Story telling gets deeply ingrained
as we get older. The folly in all of this is the
story keeps us in place. I have a boyhood friend
who is a gifted musician and has always struggled
in life. My sons and I went on a fishing trip
with him in the late '80's and on the way home
he began to tell the story. The reason he wasn't
successful as a musician was because when he was
17 his father refused to buy him the electronic
organ that would have launched him to stardom.
This was a man approaching 40 telling a story
from his teens that kept him in a jail of his
own making. He believed his story and acted accordingly.
Think
about this for just a second. How is justifying
where you are in life going to launch you to where
you want to be? It's impossibility and everyone
does it. The stories are sometimes sad and sometimes
amusing but they are all roadblocks to growth.
"I'm the daughter of a left-handed nose picker
and that's why I am the way I am." That story
may have validity and if you continually tell
it, it will keep you stuck in place.
Tell
your story to your physician, counselor or clergyman
and tell it once. They will be trained enough
to glean from your story a direction to head you
in. All the rest of the people, including your
friends and family, are tired of hearing your
story. The deeper truth is you are tired of telling
it. There is a part of you that knows it's not
productive.
Here's
a back to basics tip that will begin to move you
forward. Start small. Find a justification story
that you've been repeatedly telling to anyone
who's willing to listen, and vow to never tell the story again.
Just by eliminating that chapter from your book
of stories will have a freeing effect on your
life. Remember: your story locks
you in place and every time you tell it the lock
gets bigger.
Here
a book you can order through our website http://JohnMorganSeminars.net by clicking on the Amazon Books link. It's titled,
LOVING WHAT IS by Byron Katie. Ms. Katie
has quite a bit of insight on the burden of the
story.
A recent visit to Binghamton, NY
May
your thoughts be as still as this lake
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On
The Road Again
Summer provides me
with more time to reflect and to write and produce
helpful recorded material for people who are looking
to make their lives run more smoothly. It's been
a productive summer for me and now it's time to
go out and visit many cities and town where people
want to outgrow old ways and grow into new ways.
We will be visiting the following cities in September: Knoxville,
Chattanooga, Huntsville, Nashville, Des Moines,
Davenport, IA, Louisville, Lexington, Ann Arbor
and Dayton. Some places I have been to before
and am also looking forward to visiting Ann Arbor
and Des Moines for my first visit.
I
wrote the following piece as a result of me catching
myself caught up in trying to control reality.
I hope you enjoy it.
Raging
Against Reality
Some convenient definitions:
Raging
- intensely furious
Reality
- what's going on
Revelation
- exposure
This
is it (in a nutshell)
The
source of all emotional pain (Raging) is being
upset by and reacting to what's going on (Reality).
The simple solution seems to be to control what's
going on and you will escape the pain. The never-ending
loop presented by that solution is one that will
keep you in a state of pain forever because control
is an illusion. How can anyone possibly control
the universe of reality or any portion of it with
the limited conscious resources available to him
or her? Exposure to the lighted pathway leading
away from pain (Revelation) begins first by recognizing
the folly in trying to control the ubiquitously
unpredictable, and secondly by applying a wedge
between stimulus and response. This is the road
to revelation.
Raging
Raging,
simply put, is a conversation going on in your
head. It's noise and it's continuous. Raging is
about the past, the future, and all the stories
you dredge up to justify all your positions (reactions)
to these conversations whether real or made up.
Raging is guilt, fear, hopelessness, sadness,
and many other "fill in the blanks" all rolled
into one. Raging is any emotion that you talk
to yourself about or justify. " I'm angry, I'm
hurt, I'm furious, I'm sad, I'm jealous, I'm blah,
blah, blah ." are all conversations in your head
called emotions. They are not feelings. There
may be feelings attached to these conversations
- like a heaviness in the chest, a flushing of
the face, a knot in the stomach, a quickening
of the pulse or anything else that's measurable.
An emotion is not a feeling. It's a conversation
you're having with yourself. Follow the emotional
trail. It starts with some kind of stimulus followed
by a predictable response. The predictable response
has some sort of justification to it - a conversation.
It may happen so fast that your predictable response
will have some automatic behavior attached to
it - like retreating, attacking, striking, or
ranting and raving. The justification to these
behaviors comes in some form of "you made me do
that."
Reality
Reality
is what happens. You've heard the phrase "shit
happens" but that is biased point of view. The
bias is that reality is a negative. Reality isn't
negative or positive - that's our spin. Reality
just is. It doesn't care how we try and capture
it in a jar and bend it to our whims. If reality
could laugh, it would be downright giddy at our
efforts to harness its "isness." No one
will ever figure out all the mathematical possibilities
that compose reality. Reality is like a casino
- the house wins. Just when you have your lucky
system perfected, reality shows up and you tell
people you're wearing an invisible shirt. The
Buddha talked about impermanence being a part
of life. Impermanence is reality in a disguise.
You can predict that a daffodil will bloom in
your garden every March. You just can't count
on that gopher not eating it. That's reality.
Reality waits for no one including the gopher.
A rabbit may beat him to the punch - thus the
term "rabbit punch," which wouldn't be a bad name
for a vegetable drink. You could get punch drunk
trying to figure out all the possible combinations
of reality.
Revelation
Revelation
is exposing yourself to the light that dispels
the darkness. The light comes as a byproduct of
noticing the raging while its happening or just
before it happens. By noticing that the conversations
are automatically generated and repetitive in
nature, you will recognize that the real you is
the observer of this raging and who you claim
to be, (your thoughts), is a victim of this patterned
reaction. You are not your thoughts. Your thoughts
show up by accident - always a response to a stimulus.
Sometimes you are aware of the stimulus; most
times you are not. The light and lightness shows
up when you recognize there are always additional
responses beyond the first one, which is a reaction
to the stimulus, and selecting a response that's
further down the line. You are not a robot unless
you believe you are your thoughts. Remember, your
thoughts are slave like responses to a stimulus.
When you notice there are additional responses
and you select one of them, the predictability
of your response disappears and so does all the
raging that goes along with it. You kill two seagulls
with one living stone. The escalating response
doesn't happen and you then become the stimulus
vs. being the response. The light shows up and
the dark corners are illuminated.
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