John Morgan Newsletter – S P A C E S

VACATION

I just came back from a vacation. I got to see many family members whom I haven’t seen in years and it was pleasurable in every way. I got to notice other vacationers who didn’t seem to be vacationing, so I decided to look up of the derivation of the word “vacation.” Vacation comes from Latin which means “no occupation.”

Just reflect on that for a moment. When you are on vacation, you benefit immensely because you have no occupation. Also, think about this - a “working vacation” is a contradiction in terms because if you are working, you have an occupation. I’m not suggesting that you ignore necessary work when on holiday. It’s much deeper than that. Stick with me.

My occupation is helping people make changes and sometimes I use a phenomenon labeled hypnosis. People refer to me as a hypnotist or hypnotherapist. I have found that when I think of myself in those terms, or people refer to me in those terms, it becomes limiting. The minute you label something, you cut off many options that don’t fall within your pre-conceived parameters of the label.

Here’s a fun and practical suggestion. Don’t label yourself as your occupation. The immediate benefits are twofold:

1. You’ll have more fun and make deeper connections.
2. You won’t be limited by the label you or someone else has given to you.

Let’s see how you can have more fun like you do on vacation. When I’m in an informal setting and people whom I’ve just met ask me what I do, I may jokingly say, “I’m a philosopher.” You should see the looks I get or the comments that I hear. Not too many people meet philosophers and they don’t immediately put you in a predetermined box in their head. It opens them up to explore you further, rather than pigeon holing you when you say, “accountant,” “secretary,” “nurse,” “plumber” or “homemaker.”

Make up your own interesting answer to the question “What do you do?” It will immediately take any prejudice out of the mix and make for a deeper connection with another human being. They will ask questions and give you their attention. Don’t believe me. Try it. Use your imagination and say something like, “I’m a really deep thinker” or “ I’m a raspberry salesman,” or one of my personal favorites, “Golf tournaments hire me to go to major PGA events and holler, “Get in the hole!” You will have more fun and you will make more than a superficial connection with other people. It’s a great ice breaker and it adds to the communication.

NOTE: Common sense dictates if you’re on the witness stand, or in some other formal setting, that you respond like you normally do.

A MAGIC PHRASE

Now let’s take this a little deeper and see how you can change limiting labels with a magic phrase.

Let’s pretend you have labeled yourself a “terrible dancer” and you have the evidence to back it up, like a video tape of you dancing clumsily. You now have a label and evidence – a deadly combination - especially if you want to learn how to dance better.

Now, you could tell yourself that you are a “good dancer” over and over again but we all know that won’t work. You could take dance lessons but if you still carry the “terrible dancer” belief, they will only be marginally helpful. What to do?

There is a magic phrase that works. It doesn’t work instantly like “presto” or “abracadabra” but if applied as instructed, you will get noticeable results. The phrase is “in the past.”

“In the past, I haven’t danced very well.” In the past, “I’ve has 2 left feet.” In the past, I looked like a giraffe on roller blades.” How could this phrasing possibly help?

Like I said at the outset, when you label something, you limit it. You set it in concrete. When you say, “I’m a lousy dancer,” you mentally reinforce the belief. You then produce the evidence for it and claim that any 12 people in a jury box would readily agree that you don’t dance well. I won’t dispute that.

The strategy I’m offering you will get your brain working differently with a better outcome. When you reference something “in the past,” you are not denying it. You are putting a different frame around it rather than the one you currently use. Any skilled artist or photographer will tell you that the framing or cropping of a picture can make all the difference in the world – just like a different arrangement of a song can give it a whole new meaning.

When you say “in the past” or it’s cousin “up until now,” you are taking a fact and mentally putting it in a new place – in the past. If you want to have any chance at becoming a better dancer, communicator, or (fill in the blank), begin referencing the unwanted condition as “in the past.”

This is more than semantics. It’s the way our brains are wired. When you begin using “in the past,” you mentally open up the floodgates of possibility rather than nailing the door shut – again!

Give this phrase a 21 day tryout and then drop me an email (john-morgan@cox.net) and let me know how well this is working for you.